Strange Socks and Digger Stiles
by elphabathedelirious32
Summary: Girls in Bikinis...Just who is the Sock Man? And why does Lorelai recognize his car? 4th season, Javajunkie eventually
1. Revenge of the Luke

Strange Socks and Digger Stiles

A/N: I was at my friends house and we were talking about Gilmore Girls, and then we were wondering…Just who _was_ the Sock Man?

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls, though not for lack of trying. (The WB just wasn't interested in trading the rights to GG for the rights to my English essay. Jeez, some people!)

"What's up, Luke?" asked Lorelai, walking into the diner. Luke came out from behind the counter to talk to her.

"I think Nicole is cheating on me!" he said abruptly.

"Whoa, back up!" said Lorelai, collapsing into a chair. While she'd like nothing better than Nicole out of the picture…except maybe a new set of parents…she didn't want Luke to get hurt. "How do you know?" Oddly enough, Luke pulled up the leg of his jeans, exposing a yellowish sock. "Okay, your sock. Gross, but so what?"

"It's not _my _sock! It's some other guy's sock! In my sock drawer!" he exclaimed.

"Ssh. If Miss Patty heard that, she'd turn it into something dirty."

"It _is _dirty!" said Luke.

"Probably true, but- oh, crap!" she exclaimed as her phone went off. It was the inn. "Luke, I'm really, really sorry, but I have to go. Michel has been alone at the inn for an hour and if I don't get there soon, people could die."

"Okay. Bye, Lorelai," said Luke, and continued muttering to himself about socks.

----

Lorelai had fallen asleep on the couch after coming home from the inn to grab some fabric samples. The phone rang, waking her up.

"Hello?" she said groggily.

"Lorelai?" asked Luke's voice.

"What do you want, Luke?"

"Um, well, see, I'm kind of in jail," he said. She became fully awake instantly.

"What? Where? How?" she asked.

"I followed Nicole and the Sock Man to _my_ apartment. They went inside, and then I realized that they were doing God-knows-what, probably on _my _bed, and they've probably done it there before, and I kind of went crazy and started attacking his car and-"

"Okay, okay. Are you in Hartford? Do you need me to come get you?" she asked immediately.

"Yeah. And, I need bail." He sounded embarrassed.

"Of course. Anything. How much?"

"Three hundred dollars. I'll pay you back."

"It's fine- I'll be right there."

"Thank you, Lorelai. I know how much trouble-"

"No, Luke, it doesn't matter. This is more important." She hung up the phone and ran for the door.

----

They were driving past Luke and Nicole's apartment. A black Mercedes was parked outside.

"That's his car," Luke said. Odd, Lorelai thought it looked familiar. Almost involuntarily, Lorelai slowed. Luke opened his door and jumped out.

"Luke, wait!" Lorelai said, quickly following him. He walked up to the car and began kicking it again.

"Luke, I just got you out of jail- oh, shit!" she said, suddenly realizing where she'd seen the car before. She checked the license plate. Yes, she was right.

"What?" asked Luke.

"This is Jason's car! Jason Stiles, my boyfriend."


	2. Cats, Raincoats, and Recipes

A/N: Well, who in Connecticut are both stuffy, rich, try-to-change-awesome-Stars Hollow-people-jerks? Um, Jason and Nicole. They're perfect for each other…so perfect someone should lock them both in a room and leave them there…preferably in a galaxy far far away from Luke and Lorelai!

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls, sadly enough. Or Star Wars. NOBODY will trade for my math homework!

Luke and Lorelai stared at each other in shock.

"My wife…"

"My boyfriend…" there was a pause and then they both started kicking Jason's car.

"We should get some eggs," said Lorelai.

"We'd get arrested for that for sure," said Luke.

"Then I could call Jason's cell! Oh, that'd be good!" They both cracked up.

"Hey, do you think we're being compared right now? To Nicole and Jason?"

"Oh, gross, Lorelai," said Luke.

"Yep. Dirty." she replied. A twinkle came into her eye and Luke read her mind. _Is she going to say what I think she's going to say? _He wondered.

"Well, if they're making a comparison…I think it's only fair if…hey, what are you doing?" she asked Luke, who had come up next to her.

"Will you just stand still?" he asked. And then, of course, he kissed her.

"Whoa," she breathed. _No comparison at all,_ she thought. Jason was an idiot. Luke was so much better. Maybe that made _her_ the idiot, for not noticing. She moved in to kiss Luke again.

"What are you doing?" he asked. She smiled.

"Will you just stand still?" They kissed again.

"What are we going to do about Jason and Nicole?" asked Luke. "I _am_ still married to her, you know."

"She's a lawyer, isn't she?"

"Yeah, so?"

"So let's go in there- you've got a key, right?- and ask her to draw up the divorce papers." Luke laughed at the image.

"Sure, why not?" he asked.

----

They stood outside the door for ten minutes, trying to get up the courage to go in.

"Are we sure we want to see this?" Luke asked.

"Why not? We've each seen 50 of it before," she said flippantly. Luke smiled.

"Okay, let's go." He put the key in the lock and turned. "Honey, I'm home!" he yelled sarcastically. They heard Nicole shriek from somewhere in the apartment.

"Hi, Jason, guess who?" yelled Lorelai. They heard Jason curse. Lorelai followed Luke to the bedroom door, which he opened and then-

"Oh, my God."

"That is so, so wrong."

"When did we get a cat?"


	3. Well, That Was a Bit Early

A/N: Now, now, get your minds out of the gutter! The cat was NOT doing what a few of you thought it was doing. It was there. For no apparent reason.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls, anything they reference, or anything I reference.

Two weeks after the socks incident, Luke ran excitedly up to Lorelai's door.

"Yo," she answered. Luke looked at her oddly.

"That was odd," he said.

"Hi? Me? Oddness is a requirement," she said.

"True," he conceded.

"Hey, if that's a crack at my normalcy…well then, okay," she replied, letting him in. "What's up?"

"I am no longer married to Nicole!" he announced, a big smile coming over his face.

"Yay… wait, that is a yay, right?" she ascertained.

"No…_this _is a 'yay', he replied, swooping Lorelai up and kissing her.

"Yay," she breathed.

Later, they were sitting in the diner, arguing about cheeseburgers.

"That's five more years off your life, Lorelai," said Luke.

"Why do you care?" she asked, half-irritably.

"Because….Lorelai, will you marry me?" he asked suddenly, and so seriously she knew he wasn't joking.

"Fine!" she said. There was a long pause as she registered two things. "Oh, my God! I'm turning into my mother!" she cried, remembering that her mother had responded to her father's proposal the exact same way. And then…"Oh, my God, we're getting married! Luke "Table for one" Danes and Lorelai "Hey, can I get an industrial forklift for all my emotional baggage" Gilmore are getting married!" she cried, oblivious to the fact that the entire diner was listening.

"Yep," said Luke happily.

"I'm gonna go call Rory!" she said, and skipped out of the diner. Then, she stuck her head back in. "Luke?" she called. "As soon as I get my wedding dress, I'm going to try it on every night!"

"Huh?" he asked, totally confused.

"My God, I _am _turning into my mother," Lorelai said to herself. "Never mind!" she called to Luke. "I better call Rory before Patty does!"


End file.
